Parenity, Entrepreneurship, and the Ever-Present Anchors of Scarcity and Uncertainty
Here are the next posts in this “New Beginnings” series of posts:
* Unemployed for the First Time Ever
* Why My Next Move Is To Build Parenity.com
* Parenity’s Launch Product: A Morning Drink Powder For Exhausted Grownups
Being an employee is not a prospect that’s ever shined to me. But even though my parents owned their own business, and I was certainly inclined all along to steer my own ship (illustrated by my childhood ‘stuff’ stand where I sold hot chocolate and random household things I thought people should like…in the dead of winter), I somehow fell in line, somewhere along the way, with the generally accepted template of recent human existence: You go to school for something, you get a job in it, and if you enjoy your daytime hours little enough, you get to sleep indoors and buy snacks.
Of course this summary is pretty reductive and worded more cynically than necessary. A person CAN indeed (with many other factors at play) “hustle and passion” their way into high places, but you have to be born with the internal motor and ingrained mindset to do so. Some of the more recent positions I’ve held at companies DID certainly interest me; enough that I even had opinions on the right way to do things, and what the next necessary tasks were. I had roadmaps laid out and eventually ended up managing my own team! But was this the bullseye, snapped-in-place, “I’m where I should be” position my inner-self yearned for? No, and the voice urging me to break free of “the Matrix” and craft my own destiny has never quieted.
One thing my years thus far in the workforce have taught me is that every person at every level in every company is always just taking their best guess in carrying our their responsibilities. Even those claiming to make data-driven decisions are doing so only as well as they can with the level of data hygiene they’ve been able to achieve. And just about every company I’ve worked for has gone through very rocky-if not insurmountable-periods. So with the veil of company soundness and job security pulled back ever more, and the truth that business can be done by anyone with the proper motivation made clearer and clearer, what on earth has been keeping me from doing my own thing?
The answers are probably obvious to just about anyone reading this. The ultimate top two commodities that govern everything are the same things that limit people from doing what they want: Time and Money.
For most people, money is scarce when you’re starting out. You want to get into the workforce as quickly as possible so you can get a roof over your head, and pay off any debts you’ve accumulated in getting to square one. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, so you have no problem living this way for the next X amount of time (which always ends up being greater than X). So at this point, Time is somewhat on your side, and money is your sticking point.
Then as you make a little progress, you accumulate things that require your income sources to remain in place. These can be hobbies, increased living standards, a family, or just about anything that isn’t free. So you can’t stop making your money, and the things that require your money are starting to devour your time. For me, starting a family with my wife was an enormously profound and magical thing; and at the same time, it was also the thing that both made Money an absolute stress-inducing must, and required an insane amount of patience, attention, and Time. There are many people who are totally fine putting work and career first, and family time a close second. This is not me. My family is everything to me, and I would never let myself be unavailable to them.
So there I am. A very fortunate man, but one who is stuck with all my time and money tied up. Looks like the Matrix got me; the life on rails firmly in place. But as tired as I always was between work and my young family, I needed to keep my inner voice assuaged. Luckily, I had a history of being a night owl. I was certainly less inclined to keep my tired mind awake at night than in my younger years, but I was so used to being exhausted at this point, it was worth burning the “wee-hours oil” to traverse rabbit holes of possibility. The things I started planning and researching at night weren’t much, but they held small glimmers of inspiration for me. I often ended up on a treadmill of analysis paralysis, re-visiting topics and possibilities multiple times because I did not have the means of moving forward on anything. I knew very well that an entrepreneur was best to fail early and often, but I didn’t have the funds or time to take a leap on anything. Plus I knew my wife Amy would be very stressed to consider investment in anything outside our core needs.
This little hamster wheel I created for myself existed for several years. With the birth of our third daughter, timing seemed only less and less right to do anything about any dreams I had. But I had to keep the vision going as my light at the end of the work tunnel. I wanted to do something inspiring, and try to provide at a higher level for my family at the same time. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I just had to do all that I could, which was to keep that little spark in my mind alive.
Finally, as our youngest started to walk and talk, and we prepared to invite a new puppy into our lives, I did the math for a millionth time with updated savings numbers and a new scaled-back version of the project I’d been dreaming up. The new leaner version was one that was within grasp financially, yet still acceptable to my standards. Ok, I was satisfied with how this could work. Nothing is ever perfect, and nothing is ever a guaranteed slam dunk, but my new vision for a brand of my own was something I felt kind of good about. So what was the next hurdle?
Building something significant for my family was never something I was going to do in secret. Something like this would never survive or satisfy me if I had to do it in Speight of Amy’s stress levels or general disapproval. I needed her support and approval so this thing could sprout in fertile ground, nurtured from every angle. How would I communicate my outlook to Amy and get her on the same page as me? Power Point! …Oh, right-Money… Of course I meant ‘Google Slides!’.
I put together a professional, thorough, fun presentation for my wife that outlined all the reasons this venture made sense for our family. And she liked it! She wasn’t ready to jump in with both feet, but I did get a “let’s start with some product samples”, and that put a smile on my face. And so I did. I spoke to one of the factories I’d been chatting with over the last few years, and got them to produce a sample of my product.
Let me jump ahead to present day now. I’m still putting all foundational pieces in place for the business I’m hard at work on: Parenity. It’s a business focused on promoting well-being for exhausted parents, and bringing serenity into their lives in any way we can. You can read about our mission and vision on our temporary website here. Our launch product is a morning beverage mix formulated to promote mental brightness for exhausted parents, or really anyone run down by adulting. You can watch our product sample taste tests on Parenity’s youtube channel here. You’ll also find short form videos I’ve been producing in that account, as well as on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
So, things have been progressing slowly and steadily in recent months. That is, until the very unexpected happened in early May. For the first time ever, I was let go from my day job. It was not performance-related at all; it was just unfortunate. For right or wrong, my position stopped existing. I’ll chat a little more about the personal and EI aspects of this huge life change in my next post, but for now let’s just say I’m taking this as a sign and a source of inspiration, whether the matrix wants me to or not! 🙂
In closing, anyone reading this who knows me, even a little bit, please expect a message or 12 from me in the next month or two. I will need everyone I know to let everyone they know, know about Parenity. Because of money, I cannot media-buy my way into staying afloat and paying our bills. Digital ads will play a role, but I’m really hoping the people I know and connections I’ve made over the years will come through for me on this. I’m slowly becoming a content creator, and opening myself up to the idea of true interaction and community-building. This introvert is going to be asking for help, exposure and attention, and I hope you’ll all help me build this dream. Until next time…